What I'm Reading: Find the Good by Heather Lende
Every so often, a book comes along that startles you into paying attention — one that can move you to tears on one page and make you laugh out loud on the next. Find the Good by Heather Lende is exactly that kind of book, a meditation on what death can teach us about living.
For thirty years, Lende has written obituaries for her small-town paper in Haines, Alaska (population: 1,781). With five children and a dog at her side, she has often known — or known of — the people she memorializes. That intimacy gives her writing a tenderness that feels at once universal and deeply specific.
She reminds us that while death is inescapable, it is also clarifying. A life doesn’t need to be perfect to be meaningful; what defines us are the moments of love — familial, romantic, or otherwise — and the courage to keep showing up for one another.
“Our hearts are every bit as malleable as stardust turned to gold. Loving one another polishes them.” — Heather Lende
Her reflections also expand beyond literal loss. She writes of the “small deaths” we encounter — like children leaving home and the everyday rituals of family life fading with them. In one unforgettable scene, she describes the return of a prodigal son: a man she barely recognizes, yet still sees as the newborn whose eyes she once gazed into. That mix of estrangement and unshakable love will resonate with anyone who has raised a child.
Lende’s voice combines the winking wit of Erma Bombeck with the mythic wisdom of Joseph Campbell. Find the Good is not saccharine. It is earthy, candid, often funny, and above all life-affirming. In a time when the news feels relentless, this book is a reminder that we’re all here, together, polishing each other’s hearts.
This is a highly recommended book to add to your “to read” pile, if you haven’t already!