From day one we focus on the future:
“When I get big I will…”
“When I grow up I will…”
There’s a race to ‘finish,’ a race to hit life’s ‘big goals’
and that consumes the mind, body and soul to the exclusion of all else…
But what about when you climbed the mountains of education, career, marriage and babies??
I’ll be turning sixty in a few days, and it hit me more clearly than ever :
The Future Is Now.
What NOW?
Where do you go - from whatever mountaintop you’ve conquered?
Ingrained into me from my earliest upbringing was the belief that every moment that you’re not achieving something - you’re failing. Enjoying and being satisfied with where you are in life is a dangerous complacency, which inevitably leads to ruin.
Whatever you have in hand today - you’ve spent your life building it.
Whether it’s laugh lines or credit lines it’s your energy and decisions - good or bad that landed you at the age you are now.(BTW… bad decisions usually make for good stories!)
If you’re 40 or older - welcome the Sexier Second Half of Life.
Aging is a Privilege.
Judged on by our looks, often most harshly by ourselves, women stumble over perceived flaws and we can often miss seeing the big picture.
Women tell me all the time they ‘feel invisible’ because men don’t look at them on the street anymore, in the way they did when they were younger.
Listen sister, that’s a misread. You’ve become formidable.
That’s NOT because you’ve ‘lost your looks’ – it’s because now you walk like you can’t be messed with.
Do you ever notice the first comment that comes at you as a woman when you greet people is: “you look so good,” or “you still look so good?” It’s the kind of ‘compliment' I find depressing. Worst of all these well-intentioned social pleasantries is: “you haven’t changed a bit”. Isn’t the quest to grow and change the whole point of life?!
“You look so happy,” and/or “you look so healthy,” would be a lot more flattering, not to mention edifying as conversation starters.
Since the future is very much now, how about a simple: “what’s new?”
Attitudes about aging need to change.
Cultures where the wisdom of elders, and women and wisdom, are esteemed as cosmic strengths have some of the healthiest expectations towards aging. Americans live in a highly medicalized pill culture from the cradle to the grave. Ideas about what the ‘second half of life’ can be, both physically and cognitively, for the most part are a no-win situation.
I've fought to retouch my own lens on aging.
I love this quote from Cindy Crawford: “I'm actually happier with my body now… because the body I have now is the body I've worked for.”
Mind over Matter. Nature vs Nurture.
It’s our attitude and expectations about aging that date us.
Bodies are machines. No machine lasts forever.
As my great friend and Nutritionist Oz Garcia says:
“I want to get old. The goal is not to rust out.”
Living the second half of life being physically fit, and passing away without prolonged suffering or medical attention, I think is crucial, and an inspiring goal we don’t focus on enough.
I think this applies to our reality.
A WOMAN’S REALITY
The terror in our culture about advanced age..
That’s CRAZY
Let’s Change the Focus…
from aging
FEARFULLY
to the belief in aging
POWERFULLY.
Our mind and soul are there to challenge, strengthen, and SUPPORT the body.
This is not about looking back, or longing for the future:
This is about the here and now.
That means just do a little better for yourself everyday in order to build the best outcomes for longevity.
My mom was nearly 70 years old when she took her last continuing education course for nursing. She always used to tell me - “It’s never too late to try something, to do something or become something.”
Words to live by.
Choose your Attitude, your Power and Embrace the Sexier Second Half of Life.
xx
Veronica
Thank you Veronica for you being such a great influence and inspiration to all women but especially to black women.❤️💎👑. I always enjoy reading the information tha you share. This article about aging really has inspired me to not be so depressed about getting older. I too will change my attitude and thoughts about aging. Please continue to share and keep inspiring us all :❤️
The phenomenal thing about aging as a woman:
You stop giving a fuck about achieving someone else's goals :
You finally realize that your physical life in this world is not infinite...so you get your big ass off the pot. You stop making list and start living ... and you embrace your big juicy ass and grey hair
You know money is a necessity ....but your life is much fuller, that you no longer crave it... you see much more value in things that have no price tag hanging from them
And you just know that when you grow up you wanna be an old woman
An old, old woman
Luv you Ms. Webb